I would make the assertion that people today say being open and vulnerable is a sign of weakness. If you let people into your life then they could hurt you or know too much about you so we put up walls and hide things behind doors with locks and keys to avoid the potential for pain or the fear that someone might actually find out how weird or different the real us really is. People say being vulnerable is being weak but I think that's just an excuse to cover up the real reason, which is fear.
Christmas made me think about this because God is really a perfect example of how to be vulnerable. He made the earth and humans. He placed humans in this perfect, beautiful world and gave them free will. He said "I love you with all my heart." and by doing that, He gave all the power of His relationship over to us to respond. How did we respond to God opening up Himself to us? We ran away. We knew God loved us and we decided and still decide today to run away and be unfaithful. Talk about a broken heart! God created us to have a loving relationship with Him and we didn't want that and ran away.
Anytime you tell someone you love them or anytime you let someone in to those deep, dark corners of your soul, you are taking a risk that they wont like what they find or they wont reciprocate that same love or vulnerability to you and that is a very scary, very sad pill to swallow. Jesus was born in straw poverty in the most vulnerable condition imaginable. No glory, no honor, no gold. He lived his life being open an vulnerable and loving to all people and how did they respond to that love? Some responded with love and devotion back but the majority still went on living their lives. They even voted to crucify Jesus in public. Jesus' entire life was vulnerable. He was constantly with the poor, the sinners, the broken and the rejected. Scripture says specifically that he wasn't good looking or desirable at al. He seems to be the complete opposite of what our culture values as "worthy" today.
Maybe it's because he, being Jesus, knew that the things like beauty, wealth, prestige, desire, and money didn't actually matter. He recognized what Donald Miller calls the "lifeboat theory". We all tend to view life as being stranded on a lifeboat and one of us has to be thrown overboard so we spend our entire lives trying to prove our worth or value above others in the lifeboat. We compete and try to out-do the others so that we can win their approval and therefore get to stay in the lifeboat. Jesus saw this and saw that it's B.S.
What if vulnerability and humility is the point? What if humility is the eye of the needle we all have to fit through? (Sidebar- It confuses me and makes me incredibly sad that you can know a person for a long time and let them into those deep, dark, ugly places of your soul only to find out that they have been hiding who they really are from you all along. It's crazy that people will convince you they're being real with you and loving you and be secretly hiding their entire identity from you. It sucks! It gives you a little glimpse into the crushing blow that God feels for us when we throw away His love and His affirmation to pursue something that wont last. Loving someone so deeply and having it go to waste is not fun. Telling someone you love them and being so vulnerable and open with them and giving that power over to them and then that person says "Nah. That's alright. You keep that. I don't want it because I don't want you to know who I really am" is one of the worst feelings imaginable and we've all done that to God.)
That was a really long sidebar. Back to it! What if humility and vulnerability is the point? I'd like to believe we were made to be incredible vulnerable and open with each other and with God. The only want you can experience love at the level you want it is to be vulnerable. We all want that deep, pure, "I can be 100% myself and I will be safe" love. The love that only God can really offer. We all want affirmation and we all want people to clap for us and tell us we are worthy but the truth is, this acceptance and wholeness only comes from God.
We've been searching for it since we first said no to God's open heart and invitation to love Him back. This is why Christmas has become about gifts. We give gifts to each other so that we can get gifts and feel better. We receive a gift, we think "OMG! Someone sees that I'm worth something! I'm worth as much as a new bike or a PS4 or a new necklace!" We get our worth from the stupid retail gifts we receive rather than the truth. The truth is, Jesus cared so much about YOU that He came into the world, lived the most vulnerable, humble life ever known and died for YOU. Christmas is the ultimate reminder of self worth. "I'm worth a new TV or set of golf clubs!" No, you are worth so much that the creator of the universe came and died so that He might have us back in His arms. Jesus would rather go to Hell than live without us. That is where our worth comes from.
So back to vulnerability and humility. If Jesus recognized the lies that culture tells us and he saw past the smoke and mirrors show that Satan markets as "the good life", then we should life how Jesus did right? If Jesus had some inside track on what was really behind all of this and what really mattered then it would be safe to think we should life the way he lived. It's clear that the world paints a lie because we all feel it. Nothing lasts. Even people let us down. There has to be something more because we are all constantly living to find it. So what if humility and vulnerability is it? Jesus lived the most humble, vulnerable life ever so why shouldn't we? He was real, he was raw, he wasn't afraid to dive into the ocean with people and explore those deep corners of our lives. He gave love without expecting love in return. He suffered and died in the most shameful, public, humiliating way possible so that you and I might accept his invitation to a relationship and then return that back to him.
We have to get out of the lifeboat. We have to recognize that the things everyone is searching for: the affirmation, the love, the applause, the acceptance all comes down to our broken relationship with God. The only thing that can fill and sustain all these needs we have. So what does it look like to step out of the lifeboat of lies? Maybe it's being vulnerable. Maybe it's loving relentlessly and opening your lives to others the way God opens His to us? Maybe it's no more walls? Maybe it's being real?
I'll end with this, and I know this has been a long one some thanks to all who have made it this far! Back in the Garden, when everything was how it was meant to be, Adam and Eve were naked. The writer of Genesis tells us many times "they were naked and unashamed". It's said so many times that it must be an important idea or theme. Adam and Eve were so vulnerable with their relationship with God and each other that they were completely naked and didn't even care. Our fear of vulnerability is the whole reason we even wear clothes. If beauty is just a false value for the lifeboat then there's no other reason we wear clothes. It's incredible to think of the possibility of having a relationship so vulnerable with God someday. Where we are naked and not ashamed. Wholly save wholly loved, wholly vulnerable, wholly affirmed, wholly accepted. Remember, our skin is more waterproof than gore-tex.
Merry Christmas!
-Parker
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