Thursday, December 11, 2014

It's a trap! (counterfeit gods)

I'm about to be a little too vulnerable.

 I'm going through one of those incredibly terrifying times in life where it seems like almost nothing is certain. There have been a few unexpected changes and experiences over the last month or so that have put me in one of these stages where it feels like almost nothing is certain. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday about her life and she let me know that she is also in one of these stages. She is working her way through college but has hit a point where she's completely unsure of what it is she really wants to do with her life. She says she doesn't even know what her life will look like in 6 months. I feel her pain.

Last time I felt like this was going into my last semester of college. Not knowing where you'll work or even if you'll be able to find a job. Not knowing where you'll live or where your friends will move and if they'll stay in contact or just fade out and become another "I used to know them back..." These times in life are some of the most difficult. Like I mentioned earlier, I am currently living in one of those phases and it has legitimately shook me. I am not myself. I spend the majority of my days focused on hypothetical scenarios and "what if" possibilities that might never happen. I've spent more time in prayer and in Scripture in the last month that I have in a very long time but I can't shake it.

I spend my mornings, nights and various hours in between crying out to God but I hear nothing. I'm trying to seek His kingdom first but it feels like I'm holding onto a broken plank of wood in the middle of the ocean. The swells knock me off my tiny plank and I go under and lose where I am. I swim back to the surface, find my plank and wrap my arms around it just seconds before another wave hits. Why can't I get out of this? Why am I sinking?

I heard someone talking today about counterfeit gods and the things in life we worship instead of God. He talked about how we can try all we want to grow closer to God and seek Him but we can't really get there until we repent and change our direction or our minds. I wont lie, I didn't pay much attention to all of this because my life is fine right? I'm clearly only seeking God! I'm seeking His kingdom first! Look! My life reflects that! Wait. I'm literally drowning.

The guy talking about all this said "Want to know if you worship something? Finish this sentence. 'If I just had _________ I would truly be happy." That is THE question isn't it? If I only had more money, that job, that dating relationship, a wife, kids, a better family, a better body, more friends, fame etc. The list could go on forever for all of us. It's kind of incredible and truly sad to look at all the things we think we need. It's also depressing to think of how easily we can get pulled in the wrong direction. We live in a counterfeit culture. Our culture (America) promises so many things that only God can deliver on. God promises all the things culture can't deliver on. I get distracted so easily. I see something I want and begin to make that what I worship and pretty soon I'm being tossed back and forth by waves. I'm alone in the middle of the ocean and I can't find my way out.

I have a goal I try to accomplish every day. I try to answer the questions "What is God saying?" and "What am I going to do about it" So clearly God has called me out on the idols of my life. My life over the past month is the result of worshiping them too. I don't want to be there. That place is Hell. It's almost comical to think about how blinded I am and how easily I get lost. How quickly I'll push God off and put something else on the throne of my life. It's like I know it too but I'll convince myself I'm alright. I tell myself I'm fine and tell myself it wont consume me but here I am once again.

So what is your idol? What do you worship? What do you need to be truly happy? Can that thing actually deliver on what it promises?

1 comment:

  1. I was born and raised as a Hindu and had many idols to worship for various purposes. When I reached a certain age I was basically thrown the keys to my own spiritual journey. Nowadays i don't have an idol nor do i worship. I believe my actions dictate my happiness because for me happiness is not something that comes ready made. So I try to meditate and be aware of the moment in front of me. But just so you know I struggle with this just as much as anyone who has an idol or worships and prays for various purposes. For the longest time my happiness solely dictated on my own individualized desires and emotional state. I think as I grow I am realizing just how essential the happiness of others effects our own lives. Because whether we wish to acknowledge it or not we are all interconnected. There is a documentary on Netflix called "I Am" by Tom Shadyac that really opened my mind and heart up to the natural order of things. Through this and other readings, conversations, lectures with spiritual figures I'm understanding what it is we're all addicted to, as far as what it is "the thing to achieve." All the while our real inter-connectivity is lost and contributes to our happiness. So whether it is a question of what it is I am meant to do or who/what it is I am meant to believe/achieve for me it all comes down to action. Because coupled with free will it is what makes us human.

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